A Long Time Ago

I am now going to tell you a story that took place when I was in the hospital as a baby. I can't say that I actually remember it happening but I am positive it is true, as my mother said it happened. This is the story. I spent many hours alone (when my parents weren't able to be there) in intensive care at Children's Hospital in downtown Chicago. It was 40 minutes from our home in the suburbs and most of my siblings were still at home. My parents had a full plate raising my 14 siblings and enduring the emotional and physical strain of living day to day visiting their sick child in the hospital. Those years after contracting spinal meningitis for me are like a blur. There are some moments I vaguely remember, but to be honest, being so young and not fully aware of things yet enabled me to accept my illness with peace and resignation to God's will. (I can't say that I haven't had moments of self-pity where I wish I could be independent, to do things for myself. There have been plenty of these moments!). This peace and resignation helped me also to forget the bad times - the horror of the hospital and the pain that comes from being on death's door. Sorry for digressing... I just wanted to give you some background to the story rather than thrusting it upon you. Where was I? Oh yeah, alone in the hospital with my parents driving back and forth to see me. So... One day when my mom came to see me she asked me what I do all alone for the hours she and my dad can't be with me. (She was concerned about leaving me alone). I told her that I would play peek-a-boo with Baby Jesus. It seems hard to imagine now that I would say this and that I actually had this intimate relationship with Jesus because growing old makes us cynical and callous, in a way. As children we are more simple and open to goodness and love. We are pliable...vulnerable. I was sick and probably lonely during those days. And having the example of faith and love from my siblings and parents, I learned that God is a friend of man. So why shouldn't I ask Him to be my friend? Everyone needs a friend and I understood (in my simple childlike way) that God could be my friend. It wasn't that I had visions of Jesus. I didn't. Far from it. I don't want to give any impressions that I'm a visionary. I am not. It was only this one time that I felt Jesus was with me and keeping me company, sustaining and giving me the strength to persevere, to fight to live. This gave me joy and peace so that I could endure the suffering that lay ahead.